What gay marriage is not

Gay marriage is not comparable to polygamy. A substantial number of hysterical conservatives seem to think that legalizing gay marriage would lead to legalizing polygamous marriages. I don't have a problem with people who are into the polyamorous lifestyle, but let's get some things clear.
1. Polyamory is a lifestyle choice and being gay is NOT. There's no reason to legalize polygamorous marriages because nobody is born polygamous and nobody is discriminated against on a global level (at home, work, public, etc) for choosing to be in a polygamous relationship. Polygamy is NOT a sexual orientation.
2. A polygamous relationship is automatically an unequal relationship. A gay relationship between two men or between two women is not an unequal relationship. If polygamous marriages were legal, it would turn the institution of marriage into a sort of capitalistic or financial competition; for example: the more wives/husbands you can attain, then the more government benefits you (and they) would receive. This would not be fair to the rest of American society who would not receive those benefits because they're not into polygamy. We would not see this kind of problem with gay marriage because it is only a romantic and financial relationship between two people.
3. A polygamous marriage is also unequal in the sense that it can be harmful for women in a polyandrous relationship. The man essentially controls his "harem" of women and dictates what they can or cannot do. It is usually grounded in patriarchal and fundamentalist religious beliefs, such as Mormonism. In fundamentalist Mormonism, an older man can select his wives when they are as young as 13. Because of the extreme inequality in polygamous relationships (both in age as well as number and gender), it is highly unlikely that we will ever see a need to legalize polygamous marriage, especially with its negative connotations for women.

Gay marriage is not comparable to incest. I can't believe that I even need to bring this one up, but apparently I do. The other day, I was watching the steaming pile of shit that is EWTN (Eternal Word Television Network) and there were two people discussing homosexuality and they could hardly contain their seething hatred. They were talking about how it's important to "ask questions." So, this one guy poses a brilliant rhetorical question, "If two men can marry, then why can't a father marry his daughter?" (And by brilliant, I mean completely fucking insane.) Okay, why can't a father marry his daughter? Because that's INCEST, you morons. Gay marriage is not an INCESTUOUS abusive relationship. Incest is a societal taboo and it has been for a long time. Why? Because even in a supposed "consensual" incestuous relationship, it is difficult to verify whether it is actually consensual or not. Incest is usually the result of (and the cause of) myriad psychological problems and that's what makes verifying consensuality and mutuality so extremely difficult. There may actually be an undercurrent of long-standing physical/emotional/sexual abuse and/or a history of rape. It's usually extremely abusive and that's why it's illegal. And not to mention the obvious reason that an incestuous relationship could potentially produce diseased and retarded offspring. Being gay, on the other hand, is not correlated with any psychological disorder and gay relationships do not have the potential of producing diseased and retarded offspring. So, shut the fuck up, EWTN.

Gay marriage (and being gay) is not "unnatural." I don't think I could say it any better than this wonderful piece of satire:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the
world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Gay marriage is not going to affect your marriage, children, or family. Contrary to popular belief, two people entering into a legal and romantic agreement is not going to affect your marriage. You know what's going to affect the "sanctity" of your marriage in the long run? The astonishing rate of divorce and infidelity in this country. Not homosexuality. And certainly not gays gettin' married.

Gay marriage does not "hurt the children." First of all, gay people are not trying to "recruit" your children. Because homosexuality is first based on biology and then a combination of environmental factors, there is no such thing as "recruitment." It's not a lifestyle. That's like saying the blind people and the schizophrenics are looking for new recruits for their gang. And for those of you who seem to think that gay people shouldn't be allowed to raise children, well, how would you like it if people told you whether you were allowed to raise children or not? And on a final note, research already suggests that kids raised by gay parents turn out the same... (no worse, no better, and no more likely to be gay than other kids.)